Fueling, Dueling, and Winning

This past week has been interesting to say the least, but I have realized both by reflection on past progress as well as looking at current situations that a bit of a metamorphosis has taken place in me without me really noticing until recently.

I had a great Saturday long workout and felt INCREDIBLY strong which was a pleasant thing to feel after doing a 1 hour swim followed by an almost 2 hour bike ride.  I feel like I am really getting my fueling down which has been a bit of a struggle for me, and also what I believe to be one of the reasons why I have been on a weight loss plateau for what feels like an eternity (6 months).  I am pretty sure I have been overcompensating my workouts either before I do them (anticipating a long workout) or after (indulging because I just worked out like a mad person), so I am trying something new.  Going back to eating sensibly throughout the day, and fueling my workouts WHILE working out.  I have been trying out various nutrition gels, gu's, chews, bloks, beans, electrolyte beverages, trying to figure out what works and what is best for each portion of my training (swimming, biking, running).  What I have found to work best so far is as follows:

-Swim- 2 bottles of Gatorade during the swim session (its rather hard to swim and chew at the same time, so drinking Gatorade during interval sets is the easiest way, and also the least likely to be burped./ regurgitated while in a prone position).

-Bike- I have been keeping a bottle of Gatorade in my water bottle holder on the bike and then wearing my camelback for further hydration.  Then I am carrying some sort of chew (swaying preference on cliff shot bloks and gu chomps) the trick has been making sure I have enough of them and I will be investing (or receiving) a bento box to put them in on my bike so I don't have to keep fishing in my cycling jersey to eat.

-Run- I have a fuel belt that I keep 2 bottles in, I am having one bottle of  16oz Gatorade, and one with 16oz water.  In my pouch I am keeping haribo gold gummy bears.  I found the chews to be too big to chew while running, and only drinking water was difficult and the extra Gatorade gives me a bit of a boost just when I feel like I am getting burnt out.  Granted my runs have not gone over the 1 hour 15 minute threshold at this point, but I am thinking I will most likely be focusing on using my hydration as a way to get in energy (powerade stations on the run portion) when I am racing and keeping gummi bears in my racing suit (once I get it) for extra boost along the way.

What has been working well with this in terms of fueling is that I am able to get myself through points of fatigue when I need the energy, and utilize the calories I am consuming in a constructive way.  This also makes it less difficult to count calories the remainder of the day because I am fueling the long workouts when I need the extra consumption, and leaving the short workouts to utilize my regular calorie intake.  I am trying to get better about tracking my food however I am still horrible about remembering...this needs to become a better habit (not obsession) so I can use the data I input in a constructive way, and be accountable for my calories in/out as well.

I also had a  situation this week which was rather frustrating and was hard to deal with.  I won't go into specifics of the events as that's not the defining factor of the overall importance of them.  I have talked about my conflict mode in several posts and its something that I have been actively trying to work on in terms of developing myself outside of my "normal" in order to grow.  I was in a situation that I would have normally backed down and accepted "defeat" just because it was the easiest way to avoid the conflict and not have issues with the people causing it (or their perceptions of me).  What I did instead however was become assertive, stick up for myself...and fight back.  And I have to say...it feels good.  I don't have a result yet, will hopefully have one soon, but I feel that even if it does not work out in my favor, I am not failing, losing, or more importantly accepting defeat without fighting for what I believe in.  This situation shed light on a quote in my planner from a few weeks ago that I had tabbed and then revisited today by incident when reviewing the sticky's and tabs I have all over my planner.  This is a quote by Pierre de Coubertin: "The important thing in life is not the victory, but the contest; the essential thing is not to have won, but to have fought well".  I originally marked the quote because I was focusing on my training vs. the possible outcome or possibility of "failing", what I failed to recognize however is that he isn't talking about winning...he is talking about NOT winning....whoa... the essential thing is not to have won, but to have fought well. 

Winning is not everything...well it can be in some situations and to some people, but you need to know what you are winning for.  What was it that you were fighting for?  Why was it important?  If these things aren't considered, winning is just another motion, and it doesn't really mean anything.  I could go out and win all sorts of things, some I would have to try hard for, others might come easily to me.  Whats different about winning something that is important to you however, is the effort you had to put in to get there...and also the importance of that effort while working towards that goal.  It is somewhat cliche, but the most rewarding part of any win/ victory/success is how much you invested to get there.  The journey itself is the making of the sundae, the victory is just the cherry on top, and really...who just wants to enjoy only the cherry?  Its the whole sundae that is enjoyable, so why is it always the victory that is the focus?

I was guilty myself of keeping that victory in my focus as my "goal", which isn't necessarily a bad thing, however looking back into the "why" of what I am trying to achieve, it wasn't meant to be about winning...it was about training for something important to connect with myself and heal.  Doing things that I love in a manner that I could achieve something from them.  Pushing myself outside of my comfort zone to achieve a dream.  Its not about winning, because I already have just by continuing through what I set out to do.  I am a winner just by making the commitment to myself.  I can eat my cherry first and then enjoy the rest of my sundae because I made the commitment to myself and have followed through with hard work.  The results are falling into place, and in reality they aren't behind the finish line.

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